Image by Bura-Bari
I would like to express my deep appreciations for inviting me to your wedding. You see throughout my life, I have only been to four weddings. Considering the fact that I am a Nigerian, a girl who will probably have suitors asking for her hand in marriage, four weddings is too small.
The first, when I was nine years old. The second one, where I nearly starved to death and vowed that I'll never attend any wedding in my life except my own. The third, where I had no idea who the bride and groom were and the fourth, yours. Thank you.
For some reason, no one has asked me to do the usual Nigerian aso-ebi (bride maids/ bridal train) for their weddings. I have married friends and recently married aunties but no one has selected me yet. You see, in Nigeria, that is bad. As a young lady getting to a "marriageable" age, you should do aso-ebi for at least three people but no one has picked me yet.
I have cried out and announced my concerns but they fall on deaf ears. You see, I don't think the problem is my face or my body structure. I think my face and physique would steal their husbands away. Once, I cooked jollof rice for a friend and she said she wouldn't introduce me to her future husband before I snatch him away. I think the reason I've not been selected is my pocket.
You see, I am a broke student. Every penny I have is under a budget and in Nigerian weddings you cannot be broke and do aso-ebi. So you can imagine my joy when you asked I and Esther to serve as your bridesmaids. I was proud. The "gods" had finally made me a partaker of this aso-ebi thing and not just a normal one, an international one.
Before your wedding, I had been broke- dead broke. No money. No food. In fact, I had a quarrel with the warden because I had not paid my rent. So when I got the invite, I saw your wedding as the light at the end of my "starvation" tunnel. I anticipated that day.
On the day of your wedding. I packed small bowls and water bottles. I was going to be like the typical Nigerian parent. I cannot go to a wedding party and be dull. I had a big brown school bag that contained all my " weapons". It was going to be heaven for me. I would take rice, chicken and plenty drinks.
So imagine my face when I got to the buffet table and saw chowmein (Indian spaghetti), Dosa, Macaroni, Indian fried rice and soup and all the vegetarian meals that I do not know their names because I don't eat them. I wanted to scream and cry. I held my Twinee for support. That one kept laughing.
How did I come all the way with all those food flasks to see this? Now, not that I did not enjoy the meals, they were just not what I expected. You see, I and chicken are best friends. I do not enjoy a meal if an "animal" is not in it. I am very selective of the animals though. Chicken, Turkey, Fish. A classmate once called me Kentucky Faith Chicken (KFC).
I looked around for the "minerals"(soft drinks), none too. Coffee, coffee was the drink we had to take and the coffee was served in small cups, I couldn't even steal some for my water bottles.
Like the Nigerian girl that I am, I made the best out of the situation at hand. I ate the fried rice, went back for more countless times and I drank coffee like never before. I had to fill my stomach tank for the broke days ahead and make sure I didn't go to toilet so all would not be for nothing.
Dear Anjali, your wedding was beautiful.
Note written by Chioma Chukwunedu