OPEN LETTER TO ATIKU ABUBAKAR, GCON
Now That You Are Not President, Sir
Hello,
sir. I am sure you are fine. You have to be fine. You are a big man. Big men in
Nigeria are fine. They are only disturbed when they have to deceive very
ignorant Nigerians like me with a charade in the name of representing the
interest of the poor and unfortunate. Anyway, this isn’t about that.
Today,
on my way from a radio programme in Port Harcourt, you crossed my mind. Chai.
How could you? You are not a pretty Nigerian woman with very heavenly designed
features. I wouldn’t have minded. But when someone like oga Atiku does that, I
become a bit uneasy.
Now
that you are not President, sir, what will happen to your many wonderful ideas
and the many Nigerian youths you employed to be on Twitter and Facebook to sing
your praises and to announce what a caring father and husband you have been? I
must commend the graphic designer who worked with you. The young man or woman
is quite creative. He stole so many social media updates, appended same to your
professionally shot photos and shared them as your thoughts. I am not saying
you are not smart enough to say some of those fine things but you have to prove
it, not by hugging a Buhari or directing a demented youth to write an update
and channel it to Linda Ikeji for decimation. Hold on sir, do you know Ms
Ikeji? Ah. You should oh. She’s been quite famous. If you have your image on
her blog with a crazy title, you would be cursed and loved by jobless citizens
who are rewarded month with huge sums. I would curse and love you too if you
appeared there.
You
are a nice guy, sir. Yes, I believe you are. And don’t prove me wrong. It has
always been the case with Nigerian leaders. What I have not come to terms with
is your obsession with the presidency. Choi. You are one kind of a man. Jisos
and Jehovah put hands together in creating you. And sadly, people like you
would quote Abraham Lincoln and his failures but that guy had a clear cut aim.
Anyway, he is in the past now. What I mean is; if you want the so-called ‘Change’
in Nigeria, you must not necessarily be the leader of a country to implement it.
How come you can’t train a younger man and give him your ideas and ideals and
allow him fly? You could become the change agent from your large bedroom.
Hahaha. You were thinking I would say ‘tiny’ right? Am I mad? How can you have
a tiny bedroom? You are a big man ni.
Okay,
back to your ambition. I truly admire your tenacity, to always give it a try,
despite the obvious indications that you wouldn’t become anything more that the
former Vice President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, which is not a small
fit. You had a fun time with that author and comic character called Olusegun
Obasanjo. I like him. He was your boss. You should like him too. I learned he
spared some sacred pages in his new book to describe how sexy your ego drove
you to working against him and so on. You know, I love that your former boss.
He is ever righteous. No one is as clean as he is. And that is commendable. I
am not sure his age is doing any drama on his senses but we love him. He keeps
us alive with laughter. He is brilliant too but usually bored and old. But I
won’t buy his book. He is high to think I would spare my meal money to buy his
super expensive book after he ruined Nigeria, after he wrecked Odi and his many
romance with Peter Odilli, a man whose aim was to learn the act of skipping
with Rivers’ resources.
Sir,
you have investments in Nigeria. I like that. Can you make the many dreams in
your head a reality with proceeds from your company? Can you fix up
entrepreneurship contest and drive innovative ideas with resources from your
pocket? And I am so sure that you have powerful friends. What about trying
fundraising, to shame the current government, by raising funds to fix the East/West
Road in the Niger Delta? That would score you some political marks. This is what
politics is about; getting ahead. We should do it with decorum and this
shouldn’t come by trading words that we can’t take back but outdoing each other
in projects. Imagine you, sir, sponsoring at least two young people from the 36
states to Lagos or Cape Town, to a film school. Sir, trust me, when you want to
campaign, these 72 youths would redefine such for you.
I am
an undergraduate. Yes, I am. I am sure you have a foundation. Have you thought
of a hangout with selected youths from across Nigeria? This would work. Let us
have tea with you and bring our ideas to the table. This would really do your
team a great service. I know that I am not sounding respectful to you but I
admire you and wouldn’t mind working with you but then, you have to take your
head off the anus of a cow. Yes. I think you have been working blindly or you
have been seeking undue attention. Yes, attention. That thing could be a bastard.
I seek same from my girlfriend. The babe who says she loves me would not like
my comment on her photo despite how high I praise her sexiness or creativity.
In that realm, we are pathetic, you and I, sir.
The
Nigerian youths are becoming more powerful than before. We are becoming very
angry too. But sir, I want to ask a question oh. Do you watch international
news? Have you heard of Brinsley? Yes. That man who took laws into his hands in
the United States few days ago and shot two police officers? Yes. This country
is gearing towards such time when youths would have to eliminate older threats
and embrace the demon in themselves. Your generation hasn’t done us much good.
And we don’t wish to complain so another generation doesn’t spring up and point
same accusing fingers at us.
If
you watch MTV and Sound City you would see that quite a number of Nigerian
youths are exasperated. They hop into a nearby makeshift studio and drink so
much cough syrup, lose balance and with a bell in hand, they ring and shout and
package the bullshit and we dance to it and buy. It is better than expecting
people like you, once public office holders, who decided to watch us and become
amused instead of exploring our strength and bettering same with meaningful
projects.
Do
you know why a Jonathan may win an election again in Nigeria? Ehmm, should I
give you time to think up something? The man, despite his weaknesses, has
embraced the youths, using Nollywood and the music industry. He has brought
young people into agriculture. He listens to contemporary Nigerian songs.
Obasanjo does not have any Nigerian track on his iPad. He listens to Bob Marley
yet he writes a book and wants my generation to read his gibberish, of him
talking about how horny he is and how he fell out with his friends as if that
exonerates him in anyway. Who does that?
I
have a book reading today, sir. If I keep talking to you, I won’t sell copies
and I would starve and die and it won’t remove a dime from your many bank accounts.
And too, Harmattan is here. I have to get lotion to oil my dry skin. I
currently look like a cave man. I hope we keep in touch.
One
of your many sons,
Bura-Bari
Nwilo
@BuraBariNwilo
